PROJECT VIBRANCY NEWSLETTER
by Stephanie Meyer
June 21, 2024
The summer I was 15 was terrible and amazing.
I think about it all the time, even to this day.
Here's what happened:
I was wrapping up my sophomore year of high school, in Grand Forks, North Dakota. It had been a pretty good year.
It was my first year of real high school and I enjoyed being in a bigger school, with more challenging classes, and actually getting to know teachers as adults.
I participated in everything - band, chorus, school dances, clubs, sleepovers with friends, working at the mall, and going to every play, football game, hockey game, and basketball game. I loved all of it.
I especially loved driving around with my bestie in her little red Toyota pickup truck, singing at the top of our lungs, inhaling Taco John's potato oles, and hoping to run into the guys we had crushes on.
In the spring, we both tried out for cheerleading and made squads. I even got asked out by my crush. Junior high school had been hard to endure, at home and in school, so these tastes of fun and success were very welcome.
And then.
My mom dropped the bomb that she'd decided we were moving to the Twin Cities during the summer.
I was shocked. I was furious. I was despondent.
My mom had pulled some real doozies on my sister and me over the years - my mom tended toward big, impulsive decisions - but this one really did catch me off guard. I begged her to change her mind. I pointed out that we'd already moved twice in the last 5 years and we were finally settling into a stable groove. But her mind was firmly made up. I had no choice but to say goodbye to my friends at the end of the school year and head off to spend the summer with my dad, my stepmom, and my little brother in Lakefield, Minnesota, which I'd done every year since my parents divorced.
My poor stepmom - that summer must have been zero fun for her. My dad was in the middle of a very difficult and stressful trial (he was an attorney), I sobbed at the dinner table every night, my sister was a confused and awkward 13 years old, and my brother was only two. Whee!
I wrote long, tear-stained letters to my friends and my crush. Like, I would literally let my tears drip onto my letters and then draw an arrow to the stains and label them "proof of how much I miss you." And spritz the letters with perfume, of course. Mid-summer I visited Grand Forks for a week and had so much fun...it made me feel even worse.
On my way back to Lakefield, I spent a week in the Twin Cities and registered for high school. The school counselor told me I probably wouldn't like band very much and I'd never make cheerleading. (In retrospect, is this actually true? It seems not likely but I definitely left our meeting even more heartsick and deflated.)
I pictured myself lost in a sea of cool city kids who'd been together since kindergarten and wouldn't give small-town me the time of day. Cue more dread. In my mind, the only fun thing my mom and I did that week was eat reuben sandwiches at The Lincoln Del (RIP). Three times. She was trying to win me over with corned beef, sauerkraut, and cheese. I had to admit that they were indeed incredible.
I went back to Lakefield to finish out the summer, did a lot of cooking to distract myself (thank heavens for the healing powers of cooking), played with my adorable little brother, and visited my beloved grandparents and cousins. In fact, it was at my grandparents' home where I woke up one morning, so tired of worrying and crying and trying to change my mom's mind, that I decided I had no choice but to make the best of it.
I stopped sobbing through dinners. I stopped writing perfumed letters. In effect, I stopped torturing myself and turned my thoughts toward all the things I might enjoy about living in the Twin Cities, which of course were many. (Including those reubens.)
And then. (Again.)
My mom came to pick us up at the end of August and took us out for lunch before we left town. While we waited for our food to arrive, she said that she needed to tell us something important. I remember thinking, Oh god, what now?
She went on to explain that she had changed her mind about the Twin Cities. She hadn't found a job, she knew how distressed I was about changing schools, and she felt like she'd made a mistake. We were moving back to Grand Forks. To our same home. We were already registered for school. I was even back on my cheerleading squad.
I remember staring at her in shock thinking, This never happens.
I'd wished for so many things in my life to change, and they rarely ever did, that I'd become quite accustomed to the universe not paying much attention to my desires or requests. My mouth hung open for more than a couple of beats as I thought, Is this real? Am I imagining this?
It was the first time in my life that I'd had a big, impossible dream come true. I will never, ever forget it.
It was totally my Sixteen Candles moment. I stood up and yelled, FUCK YES! at the top of my lungs. At the time, it was very not me to swear in public, so my mom was both amused and mortified while she asked me to please sit down.
Instead of heading for the Twin Cities, we drove to Grand Forks. I had an outstanding year. I fell in love - yep, with the crush - for the first time and went to Homecoming and Sadie Hawkins and prom. I reconnected with my dear friends and made new friends too. Our band won a national competition and we were invited to perform in Chicago. We stayed at McCormick Place and ate deep dish pizza which gave me terrifying stomach cramps but who cares? It was my first time in Chicago and my first trip without parents and it all felt like a dream.
I think about this story whenever I feel completely stuck. This same instant-transformation-seemingly-out-of-nowhere thing has happened to me two more (big) times since then, and in all three cases, I had been feeling trapped and stuck and was so intensely distressed that I had...
...given up. Given in. Let go. Shifted. Released. Whatever you want to call it, each time, total acceptance arrived in one very clear moment.
I can not understate the power of that experience. For two reasons: the first and obvious one is that it just feels like a giant relief. I'm quite sure you know that feeling too, it's unforgettable, right?
But the second reason is just as important, and it's worth thinking back on for a minute to see if this has been true for you too.
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As you ponder your own Sixteen Candles moment(s), I suggest a re-watch of the movie. Popcorn is always a win but if you want to eat tacos and potato oles while you watch?
Below is how to make healthy-ish potato oles at home!
Don't know what potato oles are? Taco John's restaurants exist mostly in the rural Midwest and West. Their signature menu item - even more than tacos - is potato oles, which are tater tot crowns, deep fried until perfectly crispy, then tossed in an addictive spicy-seasoned salt. Some people dip them in queso, but to me, that's unnecessarily gilding the lily. (It's an arbitrary line to draw, I know, ha.)
- In a small jar, stir together 4 teaspoons Lawry's seasoned salt, 1 teaspoon cumin, and 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper.
- Roast a pan of Ore Ida crispy crowns following package directions (make sure they're nicely crispity). Sprinkle the crispy crowns with seasoning to taste and toss around a bit on the baking sheet. (We used to order ours with extra seasoning!)
- Serve alongside your favorite tacos (more below).
I am fully aware that potato oles are not exactly health food, so I also want to leave you with an idea for how to incorporate treats like fried potatoes - even from a package! - into an overall healthy and nutrient-dense diet.
Utter perfection is never my goal with clients, in what I share on Instagram, or in how I talk about food.
First, it's not attainable or sustainable. So there's that. I could stop right there.
But second, it's not better or more successful.
If the majority of your calories come from whole, fresh, minimally processed foods, there is absolutely room for eating out, treats, and enjoying food that you love.
This is why I teach clients a formula of building meals around protein + carbs + plants + healthy fat.
Count potato oles as a carb. For a product with better ingredients, sub in Alexia brand potato puffs (basically just potatoes, seasoning, and a bit of dairy). They're delicious too!
I myself would employ the formula above by enjoying them as part of a taco salad:
Combo of romaine, leaf lettuce, and/or spinach (plants)
1-2 slices radishes (plants)
1 tablespoon sliced black olives or 3 slices of avocado (healthy fat)
Warm taco-seasoned ground beef, chicken, or turkey (protein)
1 tablespoon shredded cheese (protein)
1 tablespoon Greek yogurt (protein)
2 tablespoons salsa (plants)
Warm potato oles (carb)
Add lettuce, radishes, and olives or avocado to a bowl. Top with ground beef, cheese, yogurt, salsa, and warm potato oles. Eat right away.
That would be such a delicious salad and a healthy and fun way to enjoy oles. It would keep me full for hours, be the right number of calories, and be super nutritious.
Give it a go and let me know what you think!
And with that, and the below rave, I bid you farewell.
I wrapped up a coaching client yesterday - she completed four sessions - and she emailed me this last night:.
"I've followed you for years and have enjoyed your emails and newsletters, but I hesitated to work with you because I was afraid of change. I resented that what used to work for me didn't anymore and so I pretended like it just would, magically, work again. I confessed this to my husband and we really did laugh about it, about how we talk ourselves into these crazy pretzels. Anyhow, he encouraged me to sign up and said we need some new things to make for dinner anyhow, because our kids now only eat with us once or twice per week. We wanted lighter meals. We wanted to lose weight. All of that has happened, and it's been really fun. You can share this if you like, in case someone is lurking and reading your newsletter and trying to decide if they're ready. My advice is: The longer you wait, the longer you don't change."
Because that was her fourth and final session, I now have a spot open. If you've been reading and thinking and waiting about working with me, and are now ready, you can claim your spot below.
Have an amazing weekend!
xoxo Stephanie
